I’m Not a Slut, I Just Like To F*ck! – Slut Shaming, Sex-Shame & Sexual Compatibility In The Graphic Novel, ‘Sex Criminals’ – My Thoughts

Greetings fellow ComixBawses!

Warning: There is profanity in this post (as you can see from the title), but in my defense I find it kind of hard to talk about sex without using dirty words. Heh. But, in any case, I do try and censor it a bit . . . kinda.

So, I just finished reading the graphic novel Sex Criminals Volume 1: One Weird Trickpenned and illustrated by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, respectively . . . and I have to say it was pretty enjoyable. I can’t say it’s the best graphic novel I’ve ever read, but I think it makes really wonderful points about sex shame, slut shaming, and sexual compatibility—plus it introduced me to a lot of sex positions I’ve never even heard of! This story uses the normalcy of sex to speak on these important and maybe even uncomfortable topics.

Let me give you a little background on the story. The major story arc follows Suzie and Jon—a new couple—who’s found that they share the same secret—they can both stop time when they climax during sex or solo masturbation. Don’t worry, this isn’t a spoiler because this is literally mentioned on the back cover of the book. Anyway, time freezes when they c*m and their world becomes more vibrant and more beautiful than ever. The illustrator uses a hazy colorful effect when time freezes for them; it’s basically what post-orgasmic bliss would look like if you could actually see it—wild and vivid. So, what exactly does this new couple do when they find that they can freeze time after they’re done banging each other? They rob banks! But, I honestly wasn’t mad at ’em for it, because they are trying to use the money to do something positive. Now, I’m not condoning real-life theft, but in this story nobody knows (sort of) and no one’s getting hurt. So yeah, in this context, I think it’s totally acceptable! I’m not a total saint either and I think if I could freeze time after having sex I would:

A) probably have a lot more sex than normal people so my introverted self can enjoy loads of alone time and . . .

B) use my five-finger discount to pocket a few books, some makeup, and lingerie . . . because that stuff gets really freaking expensive! Don’t judge me!

SLUT-SHAMING AND SHAME AFTER SEX IS STILL LIKE . . . A THING

Since I mentioned judging, I’d like to talk about slut-shaming. Slut-shaming, according to Urban Dictionary means:

slut shaming urban dictionary definition

There were other definitions of the word, but all of the others were borderline stupid (as you can see I had to skip to the sixth definition to find one I liked) and some actually seemed to perpetuate the idea that slut-shaming was okay.

So, slut-shaming is still a thing and sadly it might always be a thing. I find that there’s lots of beauty and fulfillment in sexual pleasure and sexual experimentation. But, the sad part is that, many people (including myself) find it hard to be open about sex due to the fear of being called a whore, man-whore, skank, floozie, lazy-legs, loose, slut or c*m dumpster . . . or whatever other degrading word you can think of. It shouldn’t be that way, because to me, sex is natural, but somehow when I first started learning about it and researching it . . . I always felt dirty. The topic of sex always felt like it was something that I shouldn’t know about, or something that I should only know about when I’m older. When I was a kid, sex was a taboo of sorts. I felt like I should refrain from talking about it, thinking about it, and doing it.

Throughout the story, Suzie shows us flashbacks of the times when she started to become curious about sex. She’s a young girl in school and she decides to find the “slutty” girls to talk to so she can learn more about sex; she figured they’d know more about sex than her because they were you know . . . the sluts and whores of her school. She even referred to them as the “dirty girls.”

sex criminals CB 1
Courtesy of Image Comics

 

I found this rather unsettling and hypocritical because she’s deeming these girls as sluts when she’s as equally interested in sex as they are. What’s problematic to me is that many young women feel this way, when they really shouldn’t because like I stated earlier, sex is natural and it feels really really good. What’s also problematic to me is when women—generally speaking—proceed to shame other women who have sex and also talk about it openly. Talking about it openly and sharing sexy pictures of yourself is somehow bad and disgusting when really it’s often simply celebrating the human form. . . which is really nice to look at and admire. What I also don’t like is when parents shame their children for asking about sex. I never had a real sex talk when I was younger, in fact my parents weren’t comfortable talking about it AT ALL. So, most of what I learned about sex came from other kids at school (who were equally clueless), extended family . . . and a f*ck-ton of free porn! In one scene, Suzie comes home and decides to muster up the courage to ask her mom about sex who spits back at her with:

sex criminals CB 2
Courtesy of Image Comics

Responses like these are debilitating for children; it teaches them to associate sex with being dirty (sex shame). Then, since sex becomes this dirty thing that just happens to feel good, we don’t ask questions which often eventually leads to unsafe sex practices . . . because buying condoms or asking for birth control is far too embarrassing.

comic buying condoms
Courtesy of Orneryboy.com by Michael Lalonde

Then, when others find out that you did have sex . . . now you’re labeled a whore. Well you know what . . .  that would make your mom, your dad, your grandma, your sister, and even your freaking cat a bunch of WHORES TOO! Storks didn’t deliver you to your parents doorstep! Now, doesn’t it seem a bit ridiculous to slut shame people at all when sex is as natural and as necessary (well necessary for me since I’m a sexual person) as breathing? Sex (in most cases) brought you here and that alone makes sex beautiful.

In another scene, she takes a visit to the gynecologist in an attempt to find out why she is able to freeze time with her vagina. She asks the doctor: What happens after you have an orgasm, I’m asking for a friend. Take a look at the scene below for his response:

sex-criminals-cb-3.png
Courtesy of Image Comics

Yeah . . . I was bewildered and pissed off at his answer too! I mean why wait and save yourself for marriage? It would really suck to get married only to find out that your partner is vanilla when you’re 50 Shades of Grey kinky or that they just really suck in bed. I’d be beyond mad! *calls divorce lawyer*

This now brings me to the idea of sexual compatibility because . . .

SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY IS EVERYTHANG 

Suzie and Jon both have the ability to make time stop with their genitals. Prior to them meeting one another, they both had several sexual experiences with other people, but after doing so they always felt alone. They had no one else to talk to about what happens to them and when they did mention it, other people didn’t understand and would think they’re completely crazy. They’ve been waiting their whole lives to find someone else like them and they’re not willing to give that up. Aww. 

sex-criminals-cb-4.png
Courtesy of Image Comics

I say that sexual compatibility is everything because despite the fact that people like to say that sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship (which in theory it isn’t), but it is the only act that you wouldn’t engage in with a friend—assuming you’re in a monogamous relationship. So, if the only physical thing you can get from your partner is something that you can’t get from another human outside of your relationship then sex, good sex is really really damn important. You can’t have good sex if you don’t like the same sex positions, or if one likes toys and the other doesn’t or one likes to be loud while the other one wishes you would shut the f*ck up! It won’t be enjoyable for either one of you! If someone who prefers missionary meets someone who enjoys bondage and wants to be pegged (you can look that up if you don’t know), chances are the relationship may not last that long.

I’m going to get a bit personal here to further explain why this is so important to me.

My boyfriend and I met on a super shady website called IMVU and the very first conversation we engaged in wasn’t actually a conversation at all . . . it was phone sex! Heh. We had met in a BDSM chatroom because at the time he and I were both learning about the kinkier lifestyle; we both had an interest in it and we both wanted to try it. Both of us are worlds away from vanilla—we love role-play and dirty talk—and I’m really glad we knew this about each other before we got into a real relationship. Our similar sex interests made us feel closer and it allowed us to fully embrace our kinkier selves. He doesn’t judge me or think I’m a weird, crazy slut and vice versa. I get to be myself and he gets to be himself and that to me is . . . everything. 

So, overall I rate this story:

★★★★☆ (4/5)

I would have given it five stars, but I think the dialogue can be a little silly at times. Also, knowing who’s narrating is also a little hard for me to decipher in some panels. But, overall if you like talking about sex, looking at sex, thinking about sex, and having sex then you’ll definitely find some enjoyment in this!

I hope you enjoyed this review!

Have you read this graphic novel? If so, what did you learn from it? If you haven’t read it, do you think it would be something you’d like to read? Do you think people should be more comfortable talking to their children about sex? Did your parents talk to you about the birds and the bees? Are you vanilla, kinky or do you fall somewhere in between? How important is sexual compatibility to you?

Let me know in the comments!

ComixBawse-5

P.S. If you wanna buy this comic, you can get it online at Newbury Comics. 

P.P.S. The graphic novel uses a lot of crazy and hilarious names for different sex positions. Here are four of the many that come up in the story. I think they’ll make you laugh! Happy Monday! 

sex criminals cb 5
Courtesy of Image Comics

Featured Photo: “Kiss The Cock” – Courtesy of Image Comics 

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I'm an avid comic reader and I want to share my analyses of them with the world. I love cats and brownies and I've been told on many occasions that I'm weird-but-in-a-good-way!

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